1ST GENERATION DAUGHTERS
"I want to be a good daughter but I didn't ask for these expectations or responsibilities."
You want to make your family proud but you're not sure what you're supposed to do or what the best choices are that you should be making. You're the first one in your family doing what you're doing in this country. There's no one who can give you much concrete guidance. Your parents have always pushed you to give everything and excel. They have complete confidence in your abilities. But you often tell yourself that you could be doing better, you could be doing more. And you feel guilty that you aren't doing your absolute best all of the time because you want to give your parents what they want. After all, if you don't make them happy, then are you a good daughter? They worked so hard to get you here and you want to make that matter.
But...you feel it inside you. A little bit of anger, a little bit of resentment. It's a lot of pressure, this expectation you carry. You know your family loves you, but you don't know that they actually see you. There have been things you wanted to do, ways you've wanted to express yourself that were shot down. Those things don't jive with how your parents were raised to see things. You know they only want the best for your but it's getting harder to pack away your own wants, your own ideas and obey for the sake of obeying (i.e."showing respect"). You feel like you can't fully be who they want you to be but you also aren't allowed to be fully who you want to be either.
What if you could draft your own version of who you are "supposed to" be? It's entirely possible that there's a way to honor family and their work and sacrifice but also pave your own path and feel fully yourself. Often, what we believe is expected of us is a bit blown out of proportion and also not as rigid as we tell ourselves it is. Or even if things are as heavy and rigid as we thought, we can decide for ourselves what our relationships with our family will look like. It doesn't have to boil down to a choice between ourselves or our family. We can be both "good daughters" and also authentic to ourselves. I'd love to walk this path with you and help you find your way to doing that.